I can actually grow plants. Who knew?

I am the WORST gardener. Really. I always blow a bunch of cash on gorgeous plants that I kill within weeks. I’ve only been able to care for a cactus, and Peace Lily. The Peace Lily only survives because the office secretary waters it for me. This year, I decided to maybe step out of my box and be a little ambitious, so I bought a bunch of seeds and thought I’d try my luck. It turned out great for the first eight weeks. I planted pumpkins, tomatoes, kale, basil, and some other things I can’t remember. They all sprouted, and I was pretty impressed with myself. Then we left to Hawaii for two weeks, and when I got back, most of them were fried to brown, pathetic crisps. Those brown pathetic crisps were survived by one single basil plant, five tomato plants, and the two pumpkin plants that were marketed to children because they were “Guaranteed to Grow.” So here we are. The pumpkin plants are taking over my back yard, and blooming flowers!! I have rarely been so proud about plant growth. The tomatoes, however, aren’t doing so great. They are alive, but kind of dwarfed, and aren’t bearing any fruit. Better luck next time, I guess.